Finding your soul mate can be a life work, but nowadays the use of technology has changed that. Finding your soul mate is as simple as signing up on AmericanSingles.com. However, can finding your ideal person be as easy as a few sentences typed on a profile? Alternatively, will virtual dating give you a reality check on “happy endings.” I want to draw your attention to the point that online dating is not artificial, is a simulation to real dating. By “real dating”, I mean meeting people in person, asking each other in person “I will like to get to know you better” then saying the following “will you like to go on a date with me”. Further, I will explain why online dating is phony in relationship to identity.
Simply by looking at the home page of the dating website “AmericanSingles.com” you can see who the audience is. There are, of course many websites meant for social interaction and meeting online, however this one is for those looking for a specific goal. “Welcome to AmericanSingles.com, the premier personals for Online dating. We have millions of members from all walks of life, backgrounds, professions and ages, who are looking for others to share their experiences with. New singles are joining all the time, and many singles are making connections every day.” This description is one of the first things you see when you explore the home page. Additionally, the pictures portrayed are those of singles in their mid twenties, presumably, its target audience. This website is clearly meant to attract those who have not had luck when it comes to dating and love. The website makes it a guarantee that you will find a date and almost makes it look easy to find a “Happy Ending.” The home page has a link titled “Help and Advice” The “success stories” displayed on this link are stories about love at first sight, love stories that “blossomed” quickly and ended in marriage. For example, Madonna and Pete realized they were destined to be together after five weeks of meeting “on September the 12th, in a small park in Pueblo, on a warm and sunny afternoon, Pete and Madonna were married wearing jeans and matching T-shirts.”
There are many other clues that reveal the intended audience, such as the “Dating Advice for Women” and the “Dating Advice for Men” links on the home page. Each link is followed with a quick summary of what the individual seeking to date can gain from the website, such as learning how to flirt and finally getting someone to “call back.” “Women Not Returning Your Phone Calls? You’re not alone… In fact, this ugly problem is almost GUARANTEED to happen to any guy who doesn’t know the secret revealed in David DeAngelo’s new article, “How Guys Screw Up First Dates.”
The phrase “real relationships” is seen repeatedly across descriptions of the website, emphasizing the fact that these relationships can in fact move from online to real life. However, what if the online dating website, the profiles, the happily ever after stories are made believe by people pretending to be who they are not. A person who subscribes to online dating is able to create a profile that is different from their own real identity, just as I did so myself. It was simple, brown hair, blue eyes, nice smile, and slim/athletic body; yes the perfect subject for my project. Simple I say. Well yes, it is, I explored the internet and found myself on hotornot.com, a site where random people post their photos and they are rated. Mine had a 9.8 so it seems reasonable to use it. The picture seem appealing, she looks attractive enough to grab a men’s attention. However, there is something deceiving about this picture compare to the profile description. My point of view towards my characters picture, she looks a party young adult. The men who have contact me prove me right. Since my characters photo seems contradictory to my profile, men are disrespectful and start asking me questions such as “are you one of those girls who gets drunk and starts throwing up on people’s property?” or “have many people have you had sex with, I bet you lost count?” Deceiving you may ask? Well it is deceptive because I tell them I do not appreciate those types of questions when I should consider that my character’s picture looks resembles to a playboy model but it is just a girl right next door. This leads to my point of identity affecting “real relationships.”
People that subscribe to that website are looking for a real relationship that they have not been able to find in real life. Moreover, that is somewhat ironic because online it is impossible to know the person you are really talking to. Therefore, there is a certain amount of "fantasy" involved in these relationships. I mean take my project example, I am using a picture that I found online and a fake profile to get peoples attention, even though I am doing it for the class project, I am sure that there are people that do it just for the sake of seeming more appealing. In a "real relationship”, people usually value trust and honesty, but when you are online all of that becomes optional, you don’t have to be the person you really are to make a connection with someone because you have the internet as a disguise.
Also one of the things I find ironic are the things called “flirts” and intimate messages that I can send up to hundred people. I find it ironic because can "flirt" with so many people and somehow connect with one of them. There is even a line somewhere that says expand your network, so that you have more chances of finding your soul mate. The reason I find this ironic is that people who go on these sites with the actual goal of finding their soul mate probably have the ideology that their soul mate is someone that you are meant to be. Therefore, no matter how many people you date if your soul mate is not there you will not make a connection with anyone else. So out of the hundred profiles how many of them are true or false, no one will really know. I know mine is phony, am I going to tell the men I am talking to. NO! I will not, this may affect my benefits for the sake of my project. I will not want my profile deleted by the website for having a false identity. Therefore, I will go on and pretending to be someone tha I am not and see what the outcome will be.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You have improved a great deal in your posts. This one is well organized and developed. I notice the ways you pay attention to your readers throughout--you are careful to take us through your argument and your experiment with specific examples and definitions of key terms you employ.
I am very impressed with the ways you have close read the discourse of Internet dating, specifically the break in logic that they present: finding your "real" soul mate virtually. I also value the gestures you make to the site's ideology, though I would have appreciated your going even further. Why is marriage the ultimate goal? What does this presume about audience? Do men have to look for women and women for men? What about non-heterosexual people, or does the site not account for that? I think you are edging toward this critique with your quip about "happy endings"--but I want you to take the risk and write even more blatantly about the ideologies at work. Overall, though, excellent job!
Post a Comment